The media is obsessed with a squirrel. Not a real one, but the cartoonish depiction of a rodent used in the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA). When Donald Trump boasts about "acing" a cognitive test, the predictable cycle begins: his supporters cheer his mental acuity, while his critics scoff, pointing out that being able to identify an elephant or count backward from 100 is hardly the mark of a genius.
Both sides are spectacularly missing the point.
The fixation on these tests—and the subsequent mockery of them—reveals a profound misunderstanding of what cognitive screening actually does. We are witnessing a national debate that treats a clinical triage tool like an SAT score. It is a symptom of a deeper rot in how we evaluate leadership and mental health. We have replaced rigorous assessment with a theater of the absurd where the bar for "fitness" is buried six feet underground.
The MoCA is Not a Mensa Entrance Exam
Let’s get the technicals straight because the general public is currently drowning in misinformation. The MoCA and the MMSE (Mini-Mental State Examination) are not "intelligence tests." They are screening instruments designed to detect Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) and early-stage dementia.
If you "ace" a MoCA, it doesn’t mean you’re sharp. It means your brain isn't currently melting. In clinical settings, a perfect score of 30/30 is the expectation for any healthy adult. Scoring a 26 or below suggests that you might have some structural or neurochemical issues that require a neurologist and an MRI.
Bragging about passing a cognitive test is like a professional athlete bragging that they passed a basic physical and don't have a broken leg. It is the absolute bare minimum required to function in society, let alone lead a nuclear power. The "lazy consensus" in the media is to mock the simplicity of the test to make the candidate look foolish. The real story, however, is that our political system has become so desperate that "not having a clinical brain deficit" is now marketed as a superlative achievement.
The Myth of the "Genius" Score
The narrative that these tests measure high-level executive function is a lie. Executive function involves complex decision-making, emotional regulation, and the ability to synthesize competing data points under pressure.
A cognitive screening test measures:
- Visuospatial skills: Can you draw a clock?
- Naming: Can you tell a lion from a rhinoceros?
- Attention: Can you repeat a string of numbers?
- Language: Can you repeat a basic sentence?
- Abstraction: How are an apple and an orange alike?
Notice what is missing? There is no metric for judgment. There is no metric for impulse control. There is no metric for the ability to process long-form intelligence briefings.
When a candidate claims the doctors were "amazed" by their performance, it suggests one of two things: either the candidate is exaggerating, or the doctors were genuinely surprised that the individual was capable of basic cognitive processing. Neither scenario should inspire confidence. I have worked in environments where high-stakes decision-making is the norm, and I can tell you that "being able to identify a camel" has never been the metric for a promotion.
Why We Are Asking the Wrong Questions
The "People Also Ask" sections of the internet are filled with queries like "What is the hardest question on a cognitive test?" or "Can you study for a dementia test?"
These questions are fundamentally flawed. You don't "study" for a MoCA because it isn't measuring knowledge. It’s measuring the "hardware" of the brain. If you have to study to remember what a squirrel looks like, you’ve already failed the test of life.
The question we should be asking is: Why are we not demanding comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations for all high-ranking officials?
A full neuropsychological battery takes six to eight hours. It involves rigorous testing of memory, processing speed, and executive function. It compares the individual's performance against their own estimated baseline. A "pass" isn't a single number; it's a profile. By focusing on the MoCA—a ten-minute screener—we are allowing politicians to bypass the actual scrutiny required for the most stressful job on earth.
The Cognitive Decline Arms Race
We are currently trapped in a "Cognitive Decline Arms Race." Each side weaponizes clips of the other side stuttering, freezing, or losing their train of thought.
- The Liberal Trap: Using "the squirrel" to imply the opponent is a buffoon, thereby ignoring the very real policy and structural issues at play.
- The Conservative Trap: Using the "ace" score to deflect from any legitimate questions about age, temperament, or cognitive stamina.
This isn't just a political problem; it's a health literacy crisis. We are teaching the public that mental health is binary—either you are "all there" or you are "gone." In reality, cognitive health is a spectrum. You can pass a MoCA and still be suffering from significant executive dysfunction. You can be "sharp" at 10 AM and "sundowning" by 6 PM.
The downside of my contrarian stance is that it removes the easy "gotcha" moments. It requires us to look at the nuance of neurology rather than the comedy of the "man, woman, person, camera, TV" meme. It’s much harder to explain the mechanics of the prefrontal cortex than it is to laugh at a video of a politician forgetting a name.
Stop Looking at the Score, Start Looking at the Signal
The noise surrounding these tests is a distraction from the signal. The signal is that we are governed by a gerontocracy that is terrified of actual transparency.
If a CEO of a Fortune 500 company started bragging about his ability to identify a drawing of a whale, the board of directors would have him out the door by noon. In politics, we give him a microphone and a four-year contract.
We need to stop debating whether the test is "hard." It isn't. We need to stop debating whether the candidate "passed." They should.
The hard truth that nobody admits is that the very existence of these public discussions is proof of failure. If we are at the point where we need to prove a leader can draw a cube, we have already lost the plot. We aren't looking for a leader; we're looking for a resident who hasn't been coded yet.
Demand the full battery. Demand the raw data. Until then, the "squirrel" is just a shiny object designed to keep you from noticing that the room is on fire.
If you're impressed by a perfect score on a screening test, the cognitive deficit might not be with the candidate. It might be with you.
